Thursday, May 20, 2010

An Offer to all Novartis Human Resources Employees

Dear Novartis HR Department,

You probably don't know me. If you did, you might have actually read about what an HR department is supposed to do. Because of your lack of knowledge and insight, I am making an offer: Any questions from a Novartis HR person will be answered the same day I receive it.

This means you will jump to the head of the line. Cut in front of the people in my queue. Why do I make this generous offer? Because any company that is so phenomenally stupid as to tell an employee that claims she has been raped by a customer that it was her fault because she didn't have a spare set of keys and, oh yes, she let her cell phone battery get low, needs all the help it can get.

I imagine the rest of my readers think I'm joking. Oh, how I wish I were.

They also brought disciplinary action against her.

Seriously, people. This is the worst HR screw up I've seen in a long time. Perhaps ever. And it's not the only screw up. A jury agrees with me and as a result, you'll be paying out $250,000,000.

Seriously. The next time you're faced with a difficult situation, drop me a line. I don't charge. I could have seen this coming a mile away.

Sincerely,

Evil HR Lady

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