The Five Most Idiotic HR Policies Ever

The Five Most Idiotic HR Policies Ever
by Liz Ryan

Ask a company recruiter the state of the job market, and s/he'll tell
you that certain, key jobs are always hard to fill. A great marketing
chief, a terrific CTO or other pivotal 'value creator' is not born
every minute. So which companies end up with the talent?

The ones that treat people like adults, rather than like
irresponsible children. The ones that assume that people are doing
what they're hired to do, without being watched like hawks. The
companies that will always get the talent, when competition is stiff,
are the ones who don't allow in idiotic HR practices like the five
prize turkeys listed here.

Here's our roundup of all-time most offensive HR policies. If these
sound familiar, you might want to think about whether your talents
would be more highly valued elsewhere!

1) FORCED-RANKING SYSTEMS
You know these systems, especially if you've ever worked in the
technology industry: they're the ones that force managers to rank
their employees in "best to worst" order, to literally rank Susie
ahead of Jim and behind Jane in an annual listing. These policies are
appalling. Apart from the built-in hypocrisy that has the company
telling everyone all year long, "We're a team! We're a team!" and
then literally pitting each one against the other once a year,
there's a horrifying philosophy associated with a Forced Ranking
system: the belief that people can be reduced to one, lowest common
denominator (called "worth" or "usefulness" or "indispensability" or
something else, although never defined)and listed in rank order on
that basis. What a vile presumption.

If we're not being viewed by our employers as the complex, creative,
insightful beings we believe ourselves (on our good days, anyway) to
be, then it's time for us to find new employers. Forced Ranking
systems don't work, they're insulting, and the companies that employ
them don't deserve us.

2) MATERNITY LEAVE/DISABILITY POLICIES
As a corporate HR person for over 20 years, there were policies that
I hated to enforce, and others that I fought to overturn. Without
question, the most absurd benefits-related policy was the one that
said to expectant moms, "If you tell us that you're coming back to
work after your maternity leave, your health premiums will be paid
for. But if you say that you're not coming back to work, you'll have
to pay your own premiums." D-oh! What would you expect a mom
(especially a first-time mom) to say? She'll say she's coming back to
work, ninety-nine percent of the time. After all, no one can say for
sure that she's NOT intending to return to work.

Why enforce a policy that encourages people to be less than truthful?
Pay the blinking premiums, ask the employee what her plans are,
listen to what she tells you, and proceed accordingly. If you're
going to have to replace her, you don't want to have to wait until
the day she's due back from maternity leave to learn that -
surprise! - she's decided to stay home with the baby. You can't blame
a person for waiting until the last minute to make such a decision,
when hundreds to thousands of dollars are at stake.

3) ABSENCE OF COMP TIME POLICIES
Smart companies hire smart people, and they use Comp Time policies to
give these folks some time off when they earn it. Comp time is just a
way of saying that when you've worked a lot of hours (and you're also
a salaried employee, who can't be paid a dime for that overtime) you
should be able to take some time off here and there. Comp time allows
people to go see the doctor, go Christmas shopping, or otherwise take
care of the business of living without using vacation, sick or
personal time. If your company doesn't hesitate to let people work on
weekends and at night, but won't hear of a Comp Time policy to even
things out, then I've got a couple of websites (Monster, HotJobs and
CareerBuilder, to name a few) you've got to see.

4) TALENT REDUCTION POLICIES
Of course, there's no such thing as a Talent Reduction Policy. I made
that up. But there are plenty of companies who put ridiculous and
draconian restrictions on internal transfers and promotions, to the
point that frustrated (but talented) people simply leave the company
rather than waiting around for the job they want and are qualified
for. If your company requires your manager to sign off on your
request for an internal transfer (and you've put in your dues: say,
one year in the job already), then they're asking for a Brain Drain
and they deserve one. You don't have to get your manager's signature
to apply for a job across the street, now do you?

5) CHEAPSKATE EXPENSE REIMBURSEMENT POLICIES
Travel is a huge expense for most companies - sometimes it's second
only to payroll when those expense line items are rolled up. But,
still. How cheap does a company have to be to take back the Frequent
Flyer miles that employees earned with their own dang butts in those
uncomfortable airline seats? And how about policies that say that you
can take a client to dinner and spend $50, but only spend $15 if you
eat by yourself? Yes, it's important to be cost-conscious when
writing a travel policy. But a policy that requires you to get from
Pittsburgh to Chicago on a non-direct flight is valuing its cash
above your time, your mental energy, and your health. That's simply
wrong.

HR policies say a lot about what kind of company you're working for.
Considering a job offer? Ask for (and actually read) the company's
Employee Handbook, and you'll learn a ton. Run - don't walk - away
from companies that undervalue their employees every day with bad HR
practices. You won't regret it.