Better HR Through Laziness

If you just read this blog, you would think that I've reached sheer laziness judging by the number of posts I've written lately. Rest assured that is not the case. I'm still working on the nightmare, soul sucking project at work and I am 37 weeks pregnant, so two projects at once. (Hopefully the latter will have a better outcome than the former...)

Nevertheless, in my lack of laziness, I still manage to read interesting blogs. I found this post, Better Parenting Through Laziness. It's written by a home day care provider. She describes dealing with a hitting situation between her employees young charges.

"Timmy, did you use your words?”
“Yes.”
“Did you say, ‘Anna, don’t hit me’?”
“Yes. I say, ‘Anna don’t hit me!’ “
“And is Anna hitting you any more?”
(Obvious question. Timmy is here with me, and Anna, whatever she may or may not have been doing three minutes prior, is in another room, not hitting him.)
“No.”

I sit up straight, and fix a beaming, joyous smile upon his earnest visage.

“Well, good for you! It worked! Anna hit you, and you used your words, and now Anna isn’t hitting you any more! You used your words, and it worked!! Good job!”

I smile, I clap, I am practically delirious with joy at the boy’s accomplishment. Timmy trots off, happy, Anna is playing with the blocks in the next room. And I don’t have to get up and let my tea go cold.

Sheerest laziness brought me to this strategy. Inertia, even. But when you examine the response, it’s excellent.

The child who comes to you is seeking any number of things: justice, vengeance, comfort, indignation, attention, reassurance. If you charge in and sort things out, a few things happens:
1. You become his enforcer. With that kind of reward, why would he stop coming to you? You’re creating the very thing you’re trying to avoid: a tattler.
2. You’re showing him you don’t expect him to be able to do this on his own, or that
3. His attempts to solve his own conflict were inadequate.

Brilliant, I say. Let's transfer that to our work environment:
Timmy: Anna told an offensive joke
HR: Timmy, did you tell Anna that you thought the joke was offensive?
Timmy: Yes.
HR: Did she stop telling offensive jokes?
Timmy: Yes and she apologized. She said she didn't realize it would offend anyone.
HR: Great job, Timmy. You've single handedly shut down offensive joke telling in the workplace. I'll make a note in your file about how you have contributed to the success of the company's diversity objectives!
And then Timmy goes off happy and you can continue drinking your tea. (I don't drink tea, by the way, so I'll have to come up with something else.)

And no chiming in about hostile work environments, blah, blah. I don't want to hear it. This method solves the problem. (And for more about "hostile work environments," try here and here. )

Of course, I know the conversation would really go like this:

Timmy: Anna told an offensive joke.
HR: Timmy, did you tell Anna that you thought the joke was offensive?
Timmy: NO! That's not my job. That's your job. I shouldn't have to hear any such thing. I'm calling my lawyer right now unless you punish Anna.

Who said adults were easier to deal with than toddlers?